


Seasons

by jeongmoon



Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, i just want more quality moments i wanna cry, it's 3 am what am i doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 08:30:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12361713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeongmoon/pseuds/jeongmoon
Summary: Seasons change, and so do you.





	Seasons

> — _My favorite season is spring._

  


Youngmin and Sewoon first met on a day where the sky had a soft blue glow and leaves from the trees looked so green and so alive. 

The younger was walking towards the university gate when a friend called out his name, with Youngmin walking by his side. Their mutual friend introduced them to each other before telling Sewoon something relating to school work, and Youngmin invited him afterwards.  
  
“You wanna come along with us to the café? We’re going to review for the Literature finals.”  
  
It took Sewoon around 7 seconds before nodding, as he was checking his planner in his mind and reminded himself that he has 2 more days left before the deadline for his paper. With that stress-inducing thought, he decided that he definitely needed the comfort he gets from the vibe of coffee shops, especially after taking a hard Foreign Language exam.  
  
Although reviewing after an exhausting test makes him more... exhausted, Sewoon doesn’t want to waste the chance of getting to know a new friend whose smile is as warm as the breeze and as blooming as the flowers.  
  
And maybe get some sweet, creamy coffee too.  
  
  
  
          _— My favorite about spring are flower fields._  
  
          Lie down there! It’s a good place for a picture.  
  
                                    But the flowers…  
  
          It’s okay, c’mon.  
  
                                    I don’t want to hurt the flowers.  
  
          ...Why are you so cute.  
  
                                    ...??????? I was... being serious.  
  
          I’ll lie down instead. Take a picture of me.  
  
                                    Don’t be cruel! 

  


> _— My favorite season is summer._

  


Youngmin and Sewoon had classes together during their summer semester.

After their 7 AM history class, in which Youngmin vows to never take again because he was never a morning person and thus was often late and absent-minded, they would head to fast food chains to grab their breakfast and rant about professors and requirements.

“You should ask her how many cuts you have left.” Sewoon said as he poured maple syrup on his pancake and Youngmin waited. The latter once accidentally poured vinegar on his stack, having thought it was the syrup container. He was too shy to ask for a change, since it was his fault anyway, so Sewoon shared some of his instead.

“I have a feeling she dislikes me. Can you ask for me, Sewoonie?”

“Why would I ask for someone else’s tardiness records?”

“It’s your fault for making me stay up, anyway. How dare you speak like that to the best proofreader you will ever have?” Youngmin pouted and spoke jokingly.

“Oh.” Sewoon looked away and grabbed the syrup container once again to add more to his stack. “Sorry for that. You should be getting more sleep instead of reviewing my work...”

Sewoon genuinely looked upset and it made Youngmin want to slap himself—which might be a good idea since he really does still half asleep. “Hey, I was joking!” He grabbed the younger’s wrist gently to get his attention. “I do it because I want to help you, okay? It’s not because I feel obligated or something. Maybe you can call me every morning so I can wake up earlier?”

Youngmin flashed a bright smile, and for a few seconds, Sewoon thought of nothing else but it.

“Okay, I promise.” The younger smiled back and handed the container back to Youngmin once he finished.

Minutes later, Sewoon had to buy another stack of pancakes because he apparently handed out the vinegar container, and he worried about the new addition to his usual morning routine.

However, he felt more glad.

  
  
          _— My favorite about summer are milkshakes._  
  
          Let’s pass by that milkshake place after class.  
  
                                      Okay.  
  
          Do you think the new flavor is good?  
  
                                      Stop talking, take down notes.  
  
          But I’m so thirsty.  
  
                                      I have water.  
  
          Please.  
  
                                      Here.  
  
          Thank you. Ah, how can I live without you?  
  
                                      …  
  
          Can I study at your house tonight?  
          Since the milkshake place is near yours.  
  
                                      As long as you buy me two.  
  
          Aish.  
  
                                      I’ll lend you notes.  
  
          Deal.

  


> _— My favorite season is fall._  
> 

  


Youngmin and Sewoon liked to stargaze.

They rarely meet in the hallways and classrooms during school hours due to different and conflicting schedules. Youngmin has basketball practice until 7 in the evening, and Sewoon would often be waiting for him outside the court so they can walk home together.

“You brought your guitar today.” Youngmin pointed out. “Did you perform?”

“No, I just spent my break in the music room and practiced a few songs.”

Sewoon followed Youngmin to the open field and the older sprawled himself on the grass. Sewoon gently put his guitar and case down and lied next to him. The latter sighed as he stared up the sky.

They usually don’t talk while stargazing. They enjoyed the comfortable silence and the act became an unspoken routine for them--to lend time to reflect on whatever happened that day, or to simply cool off and enjoy the view.

Youngmin had been silently identifying the visible constellations for a few minutes when Sewoon suddenly spoke in a soft voice, almost too quiet to hear.

“I like you.”

Youngmin immediately diverted his gaze to Sewoon, who was still looking up the sky with a shy smile.

“I just… wanted you to know. I just felt like I needed to say it, in this right moment.”

Youngmin was left speechless, sat up and stayed frozen in his spot. He did nothing and just watched Sewoon gather his belongings and walk away after bidding a soft goodbye.

Once out of his line of sight, Youngmin clenched his fists and grabbed a handful of grass leaves, stood up, and let them fall to the ground as he gazed up the sky once again.

 

 _— My favorite about fall are pumpkins._  
  
                                      Who are you going to be  
                                      for Halloween?  
  
          Maybe a pumpkin again.  
  
                                      I said who...  
  
          King of Halloween! Jack the Pumpkin King  
  
                                      Isn’t he a skeleton?  
  
          Well he had a pumpkin head…  
          How about I go as you?  
  
                                      ...How am I scary  
  
          You don’t have to be scary!  
          People can be cute for Halloween.  
  
                                       ...  
  
          You’re blushing.  
  
                                       I’ll go as you.  
                                      You terrify me.  
          Awwwwww  
  
                                       Why are you cooing...  
  
                                       I can never win against you  
                                       with this, can I...  
  
__

> _— My favorite season is winter._

  


Youngmin and Sewoon.

Youngmin and Sewoon could’ve happened, but it didn’t.

Sewoon refused to accompany Youngmin to the field, ever since that day.

And despite having the same feelings, Youngmin never grabbed the chance even if he badly, _so so badly_ , wanted to tell Sewoon that he likes him back.

But he’s afraid.

He’s _insecure_ and _not ready_ and _not perfect enough for Sewoon who deserves only the best in this world_. He thinks that he _doesn’t deserve._

Youngmin might be stupid.

He wants Sewoon to stop pretending that everything’s okay and everything's the same. Youngmin is ready to give Sewoon space and tell him he understands if he doesn’t want to talk to him because he feels hurt and…

Youngmin might be really stupid.

Because he tells Sewoon exactly that.

Maybe he doesn’t doubt just himself. Maybe he doubts Sewoon too. Maybe he can’t help but keep on wondering why would Sewoon seriously like someone like him?

Why not?

But why?

The silence was uncomfortable and Youngmin, despite his conflicted feelings, was actually expecting Sewoon to say _no_ , and he wants some _reassurance_ and he just wants…

“Okay. If that’s what you want… I’ll stop seeing you.”

Youngmin’s heart felt like it was struck with ice.

  


          _— My favorite about winter are nightmares and flashbacks._  
  
_Sewoonie~_  
                                        _Yes?_  
  
          _When it comes to love, are you selfless_  
          _or selfish?_  
  
                                         _Why do you ask?_  
  
          _I watched a sad movie last night._  
  
                                        _Oh. Well, I think, selfless._  
  
  
                                        _**I’m not really the type to**_  
                                        _**force myself into**_  
                                        _**the life of someone who**_  
                                        _**doesn't want me.**_  
  
          _That… sounds kind of selfish._  
  
                                          _It does have a harsh tone._

 __  
_**But that really just means**_  
                                          _ **I’ll gladly suffer**_  
                                         _**by myself.**_  
  


> _— My favorite season…_

Youngmin and Sewoon.

> _— My favorite season…_

Youngmin. Sewoon.

> _— My favorite season…_

Youngmin.

> _— My favorite season…_

Sewoon.

  


 

  


  
  


> _— My favorite season…_  
> 

> _— … is you._

**Author's Note:**

> ...sorry 
> 
> inspired by a similar situation i was actually in before and i'm not sure if i depicted it well but...  
> yeah hehe
> 
> talk to me about seni or ryoungsen maybe !!


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